I figure this is as good a time as any to let some of you know a tiny bit about me.
I believe in honesty. I believe in respect. I sincerely think that these two things are probably the most important to partake in and ponder over. Honesty and respect are what build good relationships, even better friendships, and more miscellaneous connections that are pretty mutually beneficial. To me, when someone shows thorough lack of respect or honesty when faced with it, things get a bit silly. Honesty and respect are rooted in communication, and without communication, we fall.
I like to think of myself as an honest and relatively respectful person. We all have flaws, and I'm not an exception to that.
I keep my friends close. I keep them very close, closer than my family. When one of my friends is having problems, I stop what I'm doing, I listen, and I offer my honest, yet respectful, opinions. I don't criticise them harshly, and I don't let outside people sway my judgment or feelings. When we become set on making somebody happy, and it's all we think about doing for a time, we don't normally rest until the job is done.
When people have issues or feelings or other opinions, I think it's very important to listen to them. I think it's possibly one of our greatest tasks as social, sentient animals capable of compassion. I also think that it's very important to be entirely honest. From experience, when communication fails, relations crumble.
When asked or given a legitimate opportunity to say what I think or feel, I will often take that chance... and I won't hold back.
Don't claim to love people that you clearly don't love. When you are not willing to devote as much as your life as possible to them, you probably do not love them. Love is a very intense, uncontrollable feeling that renders you void of logic. It's raw, combined emotion, full of admiration, pride, and obsession, among other things. It's difficult to notice.
When you to fall for somebody, it's a lot like going for a peaceful walk through nature. It's calm and subtle. It's relaxing. Things are going as planned, with no surprises and no interruptions. It's just you and the wild.
On that walk, you stop to take a look at something; perhaps a flower, a tree, a rock, a gentle little stream. You notice its details. You begin to see beauty. You study things, and sometimes, while you study them, you become attached. It's something you can't live without. You need it. It becomes necessary in order to live a satisfactory life.
Realising that you've fallen for somebody is somewhat of a striking revelation. Do I honestly need this in my life? Why am I even questioning it? I don't think that I can live without it. It's beautiful and confusing. I'm intrigued. What am I feeling? Is this love?
Panic. I've always panicked. Loving people has always been terrifying for me. Attachment? What? No, I do things on my own... right? Nope. Not anymore. I can't. I need this. I want it. I'm scared.
It's a scary thing, getting attached to others after living what can only be described a horrid, torturous life. I've seen rape, neglect, abuse. My life has been threatened countless times, and I've stared death in the face just as much. Past filled with anger, jealousy, fear, pain and suffering, all at the hands of others. Why would I get attached to anybody after that? It defies logic. It defies logic, because it's emotion.
I can't feel and use logic at the same time. One always takes priority, quickly stepping on the other, mashing it into the ground. Opposites. Hot and cold. Pain and pleasure. Life and death. It's difficult to comprehend, love is, but it's worth it. Love is worth fighting for, and working for.
After recent confidence-building, inspiring, developments, I would like to take this opportunity to publicly "come out." I am a lesbian, and I am in love with a woman. She's amazing. Beautiful, intelligent, skilled, mature, reliable, trustworthy, strong, admirable. Perfect. I feel as much as anyone else. It's genuine. It's wonderful. It's me.
Don't be immature. I'm going to feel, whether you want me to or not. You may as well let me. You know who you are.